For some reason, I decided that this blog had to be all serious all the time. Then I remembered I’m my own boss and I like to laugh. More than that, I like to make other people laugh.


Here are 10 jokes I wrote recently for Twitter that you may have missed. (Follow me on Twitter @JonAcuff so you’ll never miss another!)

1. If bad guys had you and to save your life I had to parallel park, I bet people would say nice things at your funeral.

2. I don’t trust beach stores that don’t require me to enter through a shark, whale, or octopus mouth. Sorry, that’s just how I was raised.

3. I don’t think I have ever done a “Part 1 of 2” type tweet, where you break up one long idea into two different tweets. It feels like chea

4. Years from now, mirror salesmen will still be talking about the sales bonanza Justin Timberlake once inspired.

5. If you didn’t go to a department store before a date to put on free cologne samples you probably had more 2nd dates in college than I did.

6. If your ever thinking of driving some of you’re grammar friends crazy, they’re some things that can be done very easy.

7. I wish the qualifications for renting a scooter at the beach were more than the possession of $2 per hour.

8. “Dad, if you go bald, you have to shave your whole head. You can’t grow your hair on the sides or you’ll look like a banker.” My 10yo to me

9. Saw a guy wearing a backwards, upside down visor. I assume he DOESN’T want to block sun but DOES want to collect rain.

10. For me, the hardest part of math is the every part.

Those were mine, what’s something funny you said or saw or read or other words that mean “experienced?”